


Taking the Short Bus

by SkyDether



Category: Z Nation (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, Humor, Profanity, To Be Continued
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-22
Updated: 2017-08-22
Packaged: 2018-12-07 02:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11614314
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SkyDether/pseuds/SkyDether
Summary: A series of one shots revolving around the escaped mental patients.





	Taking the Short Bus

**Author's Note:**

> I truly do not to mean to offend anyone. It's just silly.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doc & 10k take cover in a zoo.  
> This chapter is not finished but I wanted to post it before it got lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by "Takin' Retards To the Zoo" by The Dead Milkmen:
> 
> It's a boring day, I've got nothing to do  
> Except to get a load of retards and drive 'em to the zoo
> 
> [Chorus]  
> Oh oh oh takin' retards to the zoo  
> Oh oh oh takin' retards to the zoo
> 
> Load 'em on a bus just for laughs  
> Down a winding road stepping on the gas  
> Down a winding road just daydreaming  
> Down a winding road with the retards screaming
> 
> [Chorus]
> 
> One of them blowing a big spit bubble  
> Slam on the brakes at the first sign of trouble  
> Head on collision bodies everywhere  
> Head on collision retards beware

Actual monkey island at the Philadelphia Zoo. Ahh, the childhood memories!

Doc and 10k made their way down the road from the now completely Z infested mental asylum. 10k was still mostly zonked out as Doc dragged him along. There was a gang of mental patient Z's following them. At least half of them were wearing straight jackets.

 **Doc: This has got to be the weirdest day anyone anywhere has ever had ever!**  
**10k: Look at that!** 10k pointed at a cloud of dust that seemed to be tumbling down the road.  
**Doc: Christ in heaven what now?**

As the dust ball came closer, they realized that a small school bus was in the center of the cloud. The bus careened back and fourth down the road, leaning over on to 2 tires more than once. Doc and 10k lurched away from the road, trying to take cover. They dove into a muddy ditch just as the honking, speeding bus flew by. The bus swerved past them and they saw "Serenity Falls" painted on the side.

 **Doc: Christ on a cracker! That's the nut-bus!**  
**10k: Maybe they came back for us.**  
**Doc: Doubtful - but that's OUR ride! Let's go.**

Doc helped 10k out of the mud and they stumbled down the road after the bus. It wasn't long before they heard the bus crash. They tried to hurry along faster as the mental lunatic Z's closed in on them. 

**Doc: Holy shit-balls! It better not be totaled.**  
**10k: Even so, we could use it for cover.**

They found the bus crashed into a big gate. White smoke escaped the hood with a hiss. The crazy-town Z's were getting closer.

 **Doc: You've gotta be kiddin' me,** he said as he looked up. 10k and Doc stared at the sign at the top of the gate:  
"Washington State Zoo - _Let's Get Wild!_ "

They saw the bus was empty and went through the hole in the gate. As they made their way into the zoo, Doc grabbed a zoo map. It seemed pretty quiet, exhausted from their mental hospital escape - they took a moment to sit on a bench shaped like a giant otter. Doc studied the map while 10k stood on the end of the otter's tail (still a little wobbly) and surveyed the terrain through his sniper scope.

**Doc: See anything out there? Elvis, Bob, Pete?**  
**10k: Nothing. I guess all the animals escaped or ate each other?**  
**Doc: I sure as hell hope so.**

Just then 10k saw something in his scope coming towards them. It looked like a blanket running across the ground. He shot at the blanket and a ball of fur went flying with blood and guts exploding in the air.

 **10k: It's some kind of rat stampede! I don't have enough ammo.**  
**Doc: Z rats - that's perfect. I can see them - it's not rats - it's meerkats!**  
**10k: Whats?**  
**Doc: Never mind - I think I found a place. Let's go.**

The dynamic duo ran full-tilt into the zoo. Both were praying they would not encounter a Z tiger or something worse. As they ran, the sound of little paws pounding on the path became a thunderous roar. Amazingly, they still managed to look cute, even as Z's. Doc looked at his zoo map as best he could while running, hoping to avoid "Bear Country JamBearee". Thankfully, he saw the exhibit he did want to get to and pointed to what looked like a fenced in gladiator pit. They were climbing over the fence when they heard **Invaders! They're coming for us!** As they got over the fence, they were pelted with what felt like little rocks. 

They were on top of what looked like a gigantic empty pool. With the Z fur rug and mental Z's closing in, they slid down the wall and landed in some truly foul water. The little rocks began to fly at them again. Someone screeched like a banshee - then there was silence.

The 2 survivors stood up in the stinky, dubious water and watched as the Z rug crashed into the bottom of the fence and started to run along the side and disappear. They stood dripping and panting for a moment. When they turned around they saw some kind of little playground on an island with a rocky mountain behind it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think I will dive into Z when the new season is finally here!  
> I'd ask for mercy but then I'd miss the show!


End file.
